Ryan Haddad’s Hold Me in the Water had me floating as I exited the theater. I was fortunate enough to catch a performance of Dark Disabled Stories when it was at the Public. What was thrilling about that piece is the offering of how accessibility and incredible storytelling can live and breathe intricately within a production.

In the playbill of Hold Me in the Water, Alison Kopit, the access dramaturg, expands that Dark Disabled Stories was “understood as a proof of concept-not a blueprint-of how to explore integrated access dramaturgically.” This piece is a different offering. 

All performances are relaxed, and above the proscenium of the stage lives a space for captioning. There is audio description throughout, and, at certain performances, an ASL interpreter shares the stage with Ryan throughout the evening.

What I found provocative about this piece is that not only are we invited into a very intimate (and recent) chapter into Ryan’s life, but we are also deliciously inundated with the sensuality — in languages — the sheer power of touch between minds, spirits, emotions, and bodies. With direction by Danny Sharron, the stage is owned by Ryan and the richness of his storytelling.

Various manners of touch — the perfunctory support to get from point A to B, the confident acceptance of another body’s weight, the trust of giving into this space, and the way that  the heart may be touched by another person’s kindness and innate understanding — all live within this piece. On the other side of the same coin, the imagery of a shared hunger for skin-against-skin and the deeper nuance of intuitively knowing how to be with another person becomes visceral in this one-person show.

I am reminded of how profound intimacy can be with the right person. For those who have this available on a consistent basis, it is a privilege and may be taken for granted. 

When access is done extremely well and thoroughly, it is an exhilarating space to be in. However, it isn’t taken for granted because it isn’t as commonplace. Not yet.

Thank you, Ryan, for pushing the boundaries of conversations by openly talking about desire, lust, and disability.  By doing so, by sharing this intimate and incredibly sensual moment of holding someone’s hands under the water, you take us through your discomforts of traveling across sand to arrive at a place of untapped sexual liberation. Thank you for inviting us to go on this personal journey and experience the ebbs and flows of intense love alongside you.